WALL + the economics of small-scale farming

On Sunday we officially hit a wall. It was a slow, soft thud. As impenetrable seeming as coming up on a pale grey concrete wall with no edges.

Mid to late July has been a hazy month for us. It felt like something foggy and difficult was ahead of us. We've been talking more and trying to look to the winter. Have we ever worked this hard and made this little money? Is that what's going on? We rationalized that it was just a time between our crops where the field looks great and filled with potential, but our eggplant, peppers, tomatoes, melons, beans and other veggies are still steadily growing but not ready. And maybe this is a big part - the time between seeding in early spring, potting up more than once for some things, transplanting out and then there's a point where you keep them weeded, but they are on their own and don't need you anymore for a while.

We thought well - if we just plan better next year, maybe we can work this out and we'll continue growing. Granted we're only on a quarter acre and as we joke "flying by the seat of our overalls." The restaurant we sell to also has 60 day terms, so we haven't seen any income from our harvests yet. We've been working really hard, only hoping to break even on very frugal expenses, but realized recently we may not. It took a lot out of our intensely earned savings to move all the way out here and and we finally invested in a truck, realizing we finally needed to decide on a newer, safer vehicle for the two of us. We know all these factors add up. A lot has happened in a short span of time.

During the past few weeks we've gone through some unforeseen experiences, we don't want to get into detail about. These bring us to a speedier need for change and major re-thinking, though. We were looking happily ahead to the winter when crops slow down as that time. Knowing we'll need to line up other jobs, but also hoping for some quiet indoor time to read, research and plot our next season's course. Right now we have savings left that we hope to use for a future down payment, some farm work and the CSA delivery work to cover our rent, food and bills. And the precious little checks should also start trickling through from the restaurant soon, but we have come to an evaluating point much quicker than we'd thought. Mainly, can we continue to balance financially, focus on the farming and for the beautiful crops we have coming on, selling them through the restaurant and the farmer's market we just got into Thursdays from Aug 16th through mid September and preserving them as best we can. Or do we need to adjust now and get outside non-farm work sooner than planned?

The WALL is 'can it be done' (by us) in the future. Can we farm?

We are trying not to be too hard on ourselves. At the same time we are trying to be very realistic about what we've already learned and the actual funds, labor, equipment and land needed. There are so many costs associated with farming, even on a micro-scale. We knew it would be a LOT of work. Physical, manual, labor, repeat, repeat, repeat. We knew it would psychologically be pretty daunting, but somehow I think we thought we could make the numbers work. Learn this year, aim to break even financially by being extremely frugal and strictly maintain savings earned through other work this winter. Then plan in the winter and take what we've learned into the next season and hopefully do it with a bit more financial cushion so that it wasn't quite as terrifying and at least seriously explore trying to purchase miniature land of our own... And this is all still possible. We know we need to talk to more farmers and other small businesses and round ourselves back out a bit. I think we just want to make sure we are sane in our coming choices.

We've come to realize we initially thought we were more realistic about this endeavor since my mom was going to move out here and we were going to try to find a place together and possibly she would be involved in whichever farming direction the place we could buy would be suitable for. This changed a while back and we realize now, we should have looked harder at the sanity of our plan to continue on without her as our teammate. We've found that the neat farmers in our age range often have some crucial degree of teaming up with their parents, through living on the farm together, funding or volunteer farm help and that may be a very essential part both in camaraderie and financial viability to start and sustainability for the long haul that we don't have. Granted, maybe we should have looked into the midwest more, to be near Neil's parents in Iowa or in Wisconsin where my mom has stayed. For traditional farmers who need hundreds of acres, land prices are soaring due to the ethanol push. It's likely that small acreage for what we are trying to do is still less, but the demand and community support is also less among other considerations. A main issue that I hope will be explored further in the media is the nuts and bolts - how does it work for any young farmer today who does not have family land, from the micro-scale organic farm/market garden to the hundreds of acres in corn or soybeans farmers? The way we value real estate today, how can this work?

Speaking of inspiring farmers our age, we met two great farmers earlier this year when we were venturing to meet farmers while they still had a bit of time to talk in February and March. Katie and Casey Kulla run Oakhill Organics, are very inspiring and keep an honest, candid blog about their life. During our own farm work this summer, they have been a great source of community for us, through their writing. Although they are far ahead of us in the journey to farm, every week they discuss things we are usually experiencing and wondering about in some way, too. From - cultivation a.k.a weeding to identifying all those weeds, the feeling of rushing, what their experience is after leasing and now being on their own land, making time to take care of physical and mental well-being, fatigue, unforeseen events both good and bad, visiting other farms in season, suburban development pressure, ideas of isolation vs community, maintenance - all the way to the importance of financial sustainability. A key issue!

We would like to be able to work together like they do, long term, live in a small hand-built home and farm in some way or have some small business together. We're just at a point of trying to re-evaluate if and how we can actually make that happen (and someday afford minimal health coverage).

We're in this amazing, beautiful area of mountains, farmland, proximity to a very hip city and metro area of wonderful people who care about supporting local farmers and businesses and who are very environmentally interested, smart and pro-active. You could not ask for a better place to do any of the things we're interested in.

Yet all this adds up to real estate being very expensive. There is an Urban Growth Boundary and there are protective land use laws, but that sometimes seems to just mean that if you've got the money you can buy up the large acreage agricultural land and just have a lot more space between you and the next McMansion estate. It doesn't mean okay those with money can build a big house on a small patch of land over here and this excellent agriculture land we'll preserve and sell or long-term lease at economically affordable prices, in tiny all the way to large acreages, per what small-scale farmers can actually make - to a variety of farmers.

So yes we could afford land in the boonies somewhere, but will you have the buyers and supportive community to make it financially viable? How do the economics work out for young people who want to farm, to enter the fray where land = 'Real Estate' = stock investment? And where as a society, we still often make food choices based on what is least expensive - out of need or habit, regardless of whether the food is healthy for you and grown in away that is healthy and sustainable for local communities and the greater, long-term picture.

We could rent a home and lease farm land indefinitely, but we know it's not realistic for us. For one we can't determine how long we can live or farm, even at our current locations. Where we live, we really adore our little house and have to rein ourselves in on all our ideas to continue sprucing it up (and it's almost too neat to look out the kitchen window and watch our chickens adventuring around). Then where we're farming, the couple who owns the land five miles away are amazingly kind and positive, it's very peaceful there. At any time, though, one of the owning couples can decide or need suddenly, to sell or change what they're doing. It's not up to us and we understand that. Also long term, we see there are so many advantages to living on the land where you are farming, but talking about life as a 'Roving Farmer' is another post. We do want to move towards owning something of our own and having a solid home base. It logically takes reliable income to get the loan to own even a very modest patch of ground or tiny fixer house. Right now we can't quite see the path between what we're doing farming this way and the ability to own any bit of land to grow and in return sell to and be supported by this amazing community around Portland or further outlying towns. All of the land is prohibitively expensive.

We want to be able to be invested in our home, surroundings and community for a long time.

Sometimes I realize I am homesick, but I don't know where for. It is partly the fact that our friends and family are in all different parts of the country, I miss them and there is no one magical place where all my favorite people can be. But this lack of place feeling is something we want to solve and to have a sweet place where friends and family can at least visit and stay and a place where we can grow long term friendships new and old. Maybe that sounds odd to say 'solve' like it is a mystery and we are detectives in our own life, but it feels like that.

I was reading this aloud to Neil and he said it's just this strange place to be in. There is so much support for what we're trying to do right now in terms of general awareness and the popularity of books like Omnivore's Dilemma; Animal Vegetable, Miracle; Plenty and others, but we don't actually make enough to purchase them and even if we could it would be hard to take time to read them right now...

How does one get to actually be a local, officially or un-officially organic, grower or producer?
How do the behind the scenes equations actually add up?

With art, we realized it is a high-end luxury product (is that a duh?) where there are an extremely small number of possible buyers. To make art long term, you need to be financially supported by your spouse/partner/parents or independently wealthy. Period.

With other hand crafted products, you may have a wider base of regular people who can want what you make and support you. We thought a lot about what we would enjoy making as our life's work. We wanted to work together, both like to be outside, enjoy plants, dirt, birds, critters, being physical... things that lead to farming. We thought with eyes and imaginations flung wide open - herbs to make tea! veggies! flowers! some day goats! cheese! wine! - just depending on what property you can find and somehow buy, who knows what we could do!!

Then we learned, oops... With animals we are told the money flows away from you very easily and back in.. not so much. With wine, you need money for a particular type of land, infrastructure and plants even if you are just growing grapes to wholesale and not bottling your own, which we do not have. With herbs or fruit, you want some permanence so that your perennials can thrive and you can continue to learn about and adapt to your micro-climate, among other things involved with making a living from them.

With veggies, we thought - ah ha! annuals! we can do this on leased land!

And I will pause with my funniness to say that it is really neat and amazing we've been able to move out here and so quickly be growing so many things. And really there are so many buyers from CSA subscribers, to restaurants, markets. Every person eats at least three times a day and will always need to. Growing food is a very important craft.

But a number of people since we moved here said "There's no money in farming." (As in - you guys know that right? Or "Ohhh..." when realizing we're trying to do it together full time - as in oh.... dear, you know at least one of you needs a full time job, and to farm in the off time and the other needs to do the work of at least two or three people, right? and you still really need some un-paid friend, family or apprentice help, you do know that right???)

Oh fine, for you we thought, but hey! maybe our equation will add up differently! we have no kids, we live simply, we've got desire, brute physical force, the ability to work unlimited hours on end, two brains, we can do this!!

Now we're just not so sure and feeling sad about our boundless enthusiasm, (naivety)... Maybe this is covered in a book we haven't read yet... Is it?? We're just getting spooked that the things people have said to us are the things we'd like to shout at all well intentioned art students at so many colleges around the country. Hey! You're going to be an art teacher, right? Oh hey - you! You're not? You're just going to be an "artist"? What are you getting your masters in? You know you'll need a career to make money in, right? Okay, just writing that here I feel like ah yes... I sound like a parent... or a kooky older person. And every one's experience is different. We're only talking about ourselves and what we kick ourselves for. We know that, umm.. we fear that we'll be letting people down by trying to talk about our own fears and the struggle with figuring things out.

We can at least say as we've been trying to perk each other up - that we wanted to have an interesting life and we do! Both good and bad with lots of odd times, we have succeeded in this goal so far, it's definitely interesting. And we know it's a luxury to be in what is technically still a time of war and be pondering what we'd like to do with ourselves, while fearing no imminent danger. And that is also something to think and write more about.

So, to wrap these ponderings up... There are all these variables in life: place, money, relationships to other people, labor. Lately we feel there is this puzzle to crack with our variables. It could be put together in who knows how many ways, but we need to put it together. We're trying to sort out the most essential pieces we'd like to be in the puzzle and see how we can realistically put it together with what we have and who we are. Making the money to survive in a meaningful way where we can work together and enjoy what we do, even while living very frugally, seems very challenging.
We are coming to realize our life might look very different from versions we'd like.

For now we are trying to strike a balance, acknowledge some serious realities and try to plan ahead (while staying calm..), but focus on caring for our crops and embracing this unique experience. We already get shivers of sad nostalgia, knowing as hard as certain parts are, there is so much we will miss if we are unable to continue in this path. Appreciate this time while we are living it.

Thank you to everyone who has shared details and feelings about the inner workings of their lives or is willing to in the future. It is so helpful to us as we try to draw a sane map forward.
We are open to any and all ideas and thank you so kindly for reading.